On our podcast this week, we are addressing that old Valentine chestnut!! We all hold varying opinions of the day and ideas of how to make the weekend and Tuesday not seem so heartbreaking and lonely, especially if you are single and believe in this day of 'love'. (we don't)
Firstly, it's been a few weeks since I blogged. Melinda, myself and the team have been literally rushed off our feet since the second week in January. It seems that older singles have been dusting themselves down after the holiday season and the awful weather - now ready to take the first steps in getting ready to date.
We have been working on our new podcast (see below) and putting the finishing touches on our new 'dating academy' for mature singles. We implemented a very successful pilot 1-1 mentoring/coaching programme on every part of the dating journey. We invited a selection of singles (existing website members) in their 50s, 60s, & 70s to participate in the programme, allowing them to choose which part or parts of their recovery to dating; after the break up of a relationship or the loss of partner they were having difficulty with. Our attendees also attended group workshops on approaching dating differently for significantly better results.
All our programmes have been developed and delivered for mid-life & later-in-life singles. We believe at this stage in our lives, the approach towards recovering from a breakup or loss and going on the journey into dating in today's world is very different and needs different guidance/support from younger singles. We have more life behind us than in front of us.
The Academy will be available to go live on 1st April 2023 and will be part of our new Club Select Membership. (more details to follow).
I mentioned that I was dating again on one of my previous podcasts. đ Since then, many emails have asked me how I am getting on dating after two years. Again, let me confirm that I do NOT date Select Connections clients, never have, and never will.....this is very important to me. I am also very lucky to work in a network with good friends and collaborators who can provide me with dates should I feel so inclined to date.
I had agreed to date a gentleman from Guildford, but not before checking out a couple of other profiles before settling on this particular gentleman's profile. This may surprise you, but I asked my collaborator not to include any pictures in the profiles!! Yes, I thought I would practice what I preach, and I wanted to take a whole new approach to dating better - I have also learnt the hard way.
My previous relationship failings have been down to choosing my partners on looks and instant attraction. I was now looking for someone who interested me and at least had one mutual hobby - I now believe new hobbies can be developed together and is part of the fun in getting to know someone and embracing new experiences. I also looked for three core values aligned with mine; the other two I felt I needed would be determined after meeting.
I chose the profile that made me really want to meet the person behind it, and then I asked for the photo. I would NEVER have chosen this guy!! But the choice was made, and I not only had to go along with it, but I wanted to go along with it.
We met, and in my old days of dating, I would have instantly dismissed him, and my mind would have been telling me, "when can I get out of here". But instead, we went for a lovely walk and talked, and he made me laugh. Previously, I would have been meeting for a coffee or a glass of wine, and I personally felt I was under pressure. This style of dating suited me better - I felt more relaxed.
To cut a long story short đWe are still dating. This is simply because he is interested in the same type of relationship as me - which is nothing serious at this stage. We are both really tied up with our own businesses and family. This is very important, and I had to determine what sort of relationship I was after before dating again, as well as looking for someone who wanted the same; otherwise, I set myself and the other person up to fail.
I have learnt so much over the last few years. If you really take time to work on yourself, feel good, know what you want and don't expect too much, then you have much more chance of finding whatever it is you want.
I have always said I am happily single and will never live with anyone again. Still, the best thing I have ever done is to reflect on why my previous failed relationships and do some work on what I really wanted in a person and a relationship, and so far, it has certainly worked.
Have a lovely weekend, and watch out for all the cheap chocolates in the shops on Wednesdayđ
Don't forget to click here to watch our most recent podcast. https://youtu.be/ziRPOg6VnKc
Take good care.
Jacqui đ„°
